Taking a deep breath....

I PASSED MY BOARDS!!! I AM NOW A REGISTERED NURSE!!!!! Do I feel like one? NO. Am I freaking out right about now? YES. Do I have a job? NO. Do I care right now? NO. Am I numb with excitement? YES!!!!

So here is how the story goes:

As I was leaving for my boards yesterday, I broke down is sobbing tears of fear and the feeling of unpreparedness and inadequacy. My cute family offered lots of hugs and "You can do it" support. I asked the hubs to give me a blessing to calm my heart, brain, and thoughts. I felt better after but was still FREAKING out. So I went on my way. I was more nervous then i had ever been. I sat down and started the test around 11:40. I went through the tutorial (yeah apparently clicking is a hard concept hehehehe) and then the first evil question appeared. Oh dear, was the thought, then the next question (imagine blank stare at the screen) and it kept going from there. I had to calm myself take a breath. The last time I looked at the questions answered I was in the 40's, THEN the test shut off.

I ABOUT YELLED!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. But it is a silent test. I looked at the clock. 1:00, 1:00? Oh no!! I went to the car, and cried. Drove home, and cried. Walked in the door went to my room, and cried. I cried and cried and cried. I was so sure I had failed. So what is a person to do? Take a nap of course. When I woke up from my nap I had a feeling of completions and peace. Then of course anxiety and chaos of the test sneaks in. Then it is back to worry, tears, overeating, and stress!!!!

So today I decided I was over it (like that lasted) and went and played. Though it seemed like every moment i was gravitating to the dumb computer to see if my license was posted. I finally gave up at about 7:00. Well that a fellow class mate sent me a message to check the website. I could not type fast enough. As I held my breath, I waited for the page to pull up. i thought I was going to have a hear attack waiting....waiting....waiting. It is insane how 5 seconds seems like MINUTES.

Then it was there, Lori Anne Green Registered Nurse. And yes, yet again there was tears, heart palpitations, and FREAKING OUT. I passed!!! I PASSED!!! I can not even describe my relief, excitement, emotional deep breath, and the best and final feeling of self satisfaction. I did it!! I DID IT!!!! So here is my joyful jumping up and down I can run miles (bahahaha, yeah right maybe to the end of the drive-way) over filling indescribable delight.

PEOPLE.....I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH SCHOOL!!!!!